okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
