I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
