SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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