I heard we made out
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
