She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His nipple licking is glorious
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