She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
