rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
