found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
