so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
