Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize