3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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