i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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