I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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