so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
