After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
