that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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