Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
