No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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