Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
