lets start a swedish sibling band together
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
