just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
