Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
