Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So vagazzling was a success
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