Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize