we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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