Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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