Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
