So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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