What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
