So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
