Its about making memories worth repressing
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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