why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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