I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize