I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
