i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
