Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
