okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
