I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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