There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
