You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
