Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
