I wish I could punch you in the face.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize