Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
