if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
