So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
