i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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