Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
