I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
