Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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