at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
