No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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