i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
