Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
