just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
