she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
