its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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