Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
