Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
