Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
