I got chris browned last night
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
