yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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