My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
