I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
