He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
