If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
