Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I touched a dick in church today
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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